The Snail Factory


The Snail Factory

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What little Dr. Breign knows of lions comes exclusively from a distorted childhood memory of Androcles and the Lion. Though this lead to a mistake in hiring Judas Benedict, the incident was far from the worst event caused by this limited impression.

His assumptions from the story that lions could talk, that they were friendly when injured, and that they were inclined to repay medical favors later in life resulted in one gruesome day at the San Diego Zoo in which no less than 14 children lost their lives, three lions had to be euthanized, and the "Empire Nephrite" Fabergé egg was lost forever.

Dr. Breign, having left after unwittingly setting the terrible events in motion, never saw the tragic consequences of his actions and thus they will not be repeated in specifics here out of respect for the dead. We offer instead this warning to future generations in the hopes that such a horrible thing will never happen again:

Lions and other large felines do not, we repeat DO NOT, understand the health benefits of high colonic irrigation.