The Snail Factory


The Snail Factory

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You wouldn't believe how much Jambalaya I just ate. Like, gallons of the stuff. It didn't seem like much when I was eating it, I never even got full, but in retrospect it was a colossal heaping. There were 5 servings in the box I made and not only did I eat it all, but there were like 20 sausages in there. And I feel fine!

It's like back in San Diego I was at this poker game with some friends and they had just given their old film professor a birthday party, and for some reason they had ordered two giant chocolate fudge cakes. Thick, topped with mousse but the cake itself was like fudge, it was solid not that airy cake stuff. Anyhow few people came I guess so they had an entire chocolate fudge cake left. I said I loved the stuff so they let me take it, and told me to just have some while I was playing too. Next thing you know I've eaten two thirds of it and everyone was aghast, and they're like "You should try to finish the whole thing". So I did, in one sitting. No ill effects. Maybe a mild, mild stomach ache but I only noticed because I was thinking about it, like you know how if you really think about your belly you almost always have a very slight stomach ache from being hungry or full or just whatever?

I can't always do stuff like that but I can quite a bit, and I'm maybe a little chubby but not fat by any means and quite far from obese. It's still a running joke among my friends though, like at Monday night pub trivia ("Geeks Who Drink" at Jack Quinn's if you wanna join us) I always get a half pounder with no bun or lettuce, just tons of bacon and tons of cheesy fries with more bacon bits. They call it "The Heart Attack" and say they'll put it on the menu when I die from it. But I feel fine.

Oh yeah, um, snails.